Need To Ditch Jury Duty? Try These Ideas
Serving on a jury is a privilege, honor, and a requirement for living in a democracy; but what do you do if you get out of serving your civic duty?
While this isn't the first time that I've been called up for Jury Duty, every time it happens I get really excited. I really take serving my civic duty seriously.
I still cannot understand why people get so upset and bent out of shape when they get called to serve on a jury. I truly feel that it's an honor to be called to be part of making sure someone has a fair and equitable trial.
This ranks very high for me, almost as high as voting and free speech. Living in an advanced democratic society requires that we participate in the system for it to work properly. In addition to the fact that ditching your jury obligation is in fact illegal, why would you not want to participate? But I digress.
We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate
-Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States
I fully plan to serve my civic duty proudly, but I know that there may be tons of folks who may not feel the same as I do. If that happens to be your, or maybe someone you know, here are a few ideas you could try just in case you want to, uhm, you know, get out of serving.
Whatever you do just remember that I didn't tell you to do anything on this list:
Talk About the Economic Hardship Serving on a Jury Will Cause You
If you have a job, you may have to give up some income to serve and while the courts pay you, it may not be enough. So go ahead and tell them that you literally can't afford to serve...and make sure you do so after you drive up in your Maserati while wearing a bunch of gold chains.
Talk About Your Medical Hardships
Do you have a spare neck brace or arm sling laying around? Do with that information what you will.
Wear Dolphins Fan Gear into the Jury Room
While you're in there, profess that anyone that is a Bills Mafia fan should go directly to jail and they absolutely shouldn't pass go.
Request an Exemption Due to Being Emotionally Unstable
Basically, you could tell the judge how you grew up in Buffalo but are a Patriots fan. That is a sure sign of not being emotionally stable enough to render an impartial verdict.
Tell the Judge You Can Tell If a Man Is Guilty Just By Looking In Their Eyes
Like, who needs evidence - you just know that some people are guilty by how they look, or what neighborhood they're from, or any number of other things - just go with that and I'm sure you'll be fine.
Misteriouly Have an Important Schedule Conflict That Day
Amazingly, the day you had to serve on the jury, is the same day you needed to go take your fish for a walk.
These are just a few ideas, what others can you think of?